I find it very interesting these inspirational quotes and phrases. When in feeling down I have two friends I talk to.
One of them, SAM (always all caps) constantly tells me strong. That I can do this. That I can get over this bigger than normal bump in my road and I can carry on like "strong beautiful person I am".
The other one, Kanna, after hearing the same story told me that I shouldn't do it. "You're not ready for it yet, don't do it".
While the second one may not be so...positive? It's true. I could not just "get over him" I damn sure couldn't be around him and his new...let's call her girlfriend for my sake of moving on.
In fact the first time I stayed a total of twenty minutes. Then had a break down. The next time I stayed forty minutes, then left, no breakdown this time.
In that moment I was not a "strong beautiful person" I was very much weak and hurt and sad. That doesn't mean though, that I'm always weak hurt and sad.
My point here I guess is that not enough negativity is accepted. So often we try to solve our friends problem our comfort them with text book answers.
"It's okay"
"You can do it"
"You're so strong."
Personally I feel it didn't leave me room for error. I HAVE TO be strong to get through this.
No. I don't. I am fragile, I am sick, I can't do it. And that's okay. It's okay to be weak and not want to handle something until you get better.
To avoid anything that makes you uncomfortable or any of your triggers until you can handle it.
Tell people that it fucking sucks, they are going to hurt, and that's okay because it will get better.
That's something I enjoy hearing cause it's true.
It always gets better
P.s. Kanna is my life long friend, for over eleven years she's put up with me, it's really funny it's almost like she's my mom
SAM has been around less but she is just as important and in fact the only person I'll really cry in front of. She's softer than mom haha.
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