I think the last entry I made was a good year ago. Usually not hearing from me means I'm doing well and everything is okay. This is not the case.
It's kind of the case?
My boyfriend Mel left me. I understand I guess, but it was rough. Very, rough. I often wonder why I was so angry during our relationship. Why was I always on edge? I don't think I trusted him. I thought I did, but I didn't. There was this lack of communication? Why didn't I trust him? He never gave me a reason too?
I had a dream about him and another girl. I woke up feeling betrayed? I still wonder why he talked to her about so much sexual stuff.
I always say I've never been cheated on but it always feels like I have. Malachi never technically cheated, he just broke up whenever he wanted to fuck another girl.
Mel never cheated, he just talked about other visions bodies. "Jasmine has a better ass than you." I'm so sick of that memory honestly.
Is it a fear of replacement? Or a fear of abandonment?
I...I don't know yet.
I always joke that Ryan..oh, my new boyfriend, is too lazy to cheat.
I don't worry when he's out late
He is....interesting.
Should I worry?
